Today’s article idea struck me as I was a reading a book about relationships – called “The Way Of The Superior Man”. It’s a great book overall and I wanted to share with you some good insights I got from it. It’s information that seems so easy to apply, yet feel not so intuitive for most men – myself included.
Here’s what it’s all about:
Don’t believe a word of what your girlfriend says.
I can see you right now. If you’re a man, you’ve probably been taken aback and you are wondering what I mean by that. And if you’re a woman.. then chances are you feel offended by what I just said.
That’s okay, take a deep breath. Both of you.
In fact, everyone here gets it wrong.
I’m not saying she’s lying (although she might lie to you, I’m not making any generalization by saying that.)
The man core says she is, when she isn’t. Well, I guess it depends on the viewpoint you adopt.
Man tends to think that : not true = lie. But that’s not what it’s about.
Here’s a truth about (most) women: they act according to their feelings. And “act” includes “talk”.
What do I mean by that? It’s very simple:
Unlike men, who are goal or purpose-oriented.. women are “love-oriented”.
SIDE NOTE: In truth, it’s not as simple as that.. since men and women may have different energies that may dictate the way they behave, but I won’t get into that in this article. Long story short, some men might be “love-oriented” whereas some women might be “purpose-oriented”. We’ll talk about that more deeply in the next article.
For now, let’s just stick to “all men=purpose-oriented” and “all women=love oriented”. It’ll be easier to understand and that’s pretty much even though it’s not the case for everyone.
Basically, women wants love. They want to love but more importantly to feel loved. That’s what it’s all about. This is the very reason you shouldn’t trust a woman’s words most of the time (unless a certain thing occur, I’ll get into that.)
Although men are mostly driven by their sense of duty, or by their yearning of achieving some goals of them.. women are not. Well, like I said.. it depends. For instance, as surprising as it may sound, although I’m also really focused on goals.. I’m more importantly a complete woman when it comes to love and relationships. But it doesn’t change the fact that most women are “women”, and are craving to feel that feeling.
So, this is the big question: why should you not trust a woman’s words?
As I said, women are primarily driven by feelings. Which means that feelings – or mood – dictate the way they behave.
How does that help us? Here’s how:
Contrary to men, when women say something they usually don’t mean it. After all, they’re being “controlled” by their feelings. I guess we could say that women don’t talk, their feelings do.
So basically, when you ask her something.. and that she answers you.. more often that not, the answer she gave you has been “filtered” by her mood. Here’s an exemple from the book: let’s say you ask her if she wants to go the movies. She says no.
For a man… and as a man, I agree.. no means.. no. But here’s the tricky part: sometimes women really do mean no.. but sometimes they don’t. If you’re asking, yep.. we, men, pretty much have to guess if she truly means it or not! Sounds complicated? Well, sure.. you’re not seer. And so aren’t I. In fact, there is no techniques so to speak to guess, but we can understand how women work and increase our chances of getting it right!
Let’s go back to our example. You just asked her out and she declined the proposal. Fine. Here’s how the book deals with it. Well, I guess it’s not supposed to be taken literally.. but it shows the correct attitude to have: for the reader to understand how women behave, the author explained that if the guy (in the example) were to suddenly hug her and spin her around.. then she might say yes.
I don’t think that that’s what he recommends to literally do, but here’s in my opinion the great piece of insight behind this little story: a woman will be way more likely to follow you, if she feels the love (or connection) between both of you.
In other words, when a woman says something, she’s talking about the feelings she experiences in the present moment (which is why spinning her around and hugging her actually make a change).
According to the author, the basic rule is: never trust what she says unless love is flowing deeply and fully the moment she talks.
The author shared that 90% of a woman’s emotional problems stem from feeling unloved.
And I have no doubt it’s true.
So, the next time she says something differently or make a fuss over nothing.. you might want to check if it’s not a problem about you not showing her you love her. By the way, the book also talked about how women constantly challenge their men to see if they truly love her. In short: it’s a never-ending process. So don’t hope you can put an end to it!
What I find awesome with this information is that it really can solve A LOT of problems. Actually, on the top of my head, I have a few situations I didn’t know how to handle with my ex-girlfriend that totally make sense as soon as I read the part I’ve just talked about. In fact, I fell in love with the process of understanding women even more. It’s like, instead of thinking “she’s crazy or..?” (which I admit I already thought) you start understanding how she feels and why she might act that way.
I will totally continue learning more about that and keep writing articles on the subject! Hope we’re on the same page. Don’t forget that relationships is one of the most important if not the most important thing that we all need in our lives. And it’s definitely part of our journey to learn about the opposite sex, try to understand them and find the person with whom you’ll be able to share the best moments.