Let’s be honest. We all like to receive. We like receiving love, power, money, gifts.. it’s part of our human nature. However, during this process of fulfillment while receiving something, a lot of people get stuck at that step. In short, they keep wanting more.. without giving anything. Is that really how things works? I’m not sure about that.
In this article, I wanted to share with you why it is in my opinion PRIMORDIAL to be a giver, not a taker.
The reason why many people forget this crucial step, may be due to the fact that it takes some effort to give. For instance, if I were to say to you: give this man $50. How would you react? Would you give them the money right away?
It’s not something particularly easy to do -not that it is hard-, mostly because people aren’t used to acting this way.
When receiving becomes your habit, you always expect more and more. You always expect to GET something. But the moment you’re told that you need to give something to someone.. you freak out.
Giving? Why would I do that? No, I don’t give. I want.
It may be so unnatural to some people, yet crucial to your happiness.
Indeed, giving affects not only the people around you.. but you as well.
After all, contribution is one trait that make us all feel fulfilled. When you give, you have this flow of sentiments welling up inside you. Have you ever given to someone? If so, you should know how pleasant your following state of mind is.
I remember a not-so-long-time-ago where I just sent a private message to somebody on the internet to give them comfort. I didn’t know that person but figured they were hurt by some comments they received, so I just gave them some of my positivity.
By the way, I didn’t do it because I wanted to feel that way. In fact, it’s a mistake you should not commit in my opinion. Wanting to give because you want to get a certain feeling back. In my view, it’s still trying to take (even though it might be slightly better than trying to receive without giving anything.)
But guess what? I felt great afterwards. I felt like I had impacted their life. Just the act of giving make me felt good about myself.
Also, giving means a lot of things. I don’t mean that you should give all your money to charity or anything like that. You could do a lot of different things to give. For instance, just smiling to someone that’s in a bad mood. Trying to make them feel better. It’s not about giving materialistic things -although it’s a great way of giving as well.
In short, I believe giving is a way to reach happiness.
But it’s not the only benefit about giving.
Indeed, by giving more.. you also receive more. And as I said, I don’t want you to give just to receive. But know that if you give, you shall receive. It’s as simple as that.
Do you know why women are often turned off by many men? It’s because they try to take from them. A lot of men approach women just to get something -whether it be their phone number, a date or a night with them. In any case, it’s all about receiving. They WANT something from her. And what do they give in exchange? Nothing. They’re just takers.
And that’s why you don’t want to do that.
Obviously, this is an example about relationships -that I find really interesting- but it works with everything in life.
Say, if you want to make more money.. it’s not by taking to everyone that you will achieve your ends. It’s the opposite. If you give them enough, they will automatically give you as well. It’s like, when you give an opportunity to somebody.. they often end up giving you an opportunity as well. They’re thankful that you introduced them to someone, and so one day they return the favor and you get this life-changing opportunity.
What was the trigger? You just gave.
When you give, you always end up receiving. So why focusing on receiving?
Here’s the thing: takers repel people.
Let’s say you have a friend, Bob. You’ve known him for 5 months, and he calls you three times a week. What does he call you for? To check in with you? Nope.
He wants money. Desperatly.
He always asks you money. Last month he needed $300, and now he needs $500.
What the hell? Am I just a wallet?
That’s what you would think, right? That’s what I would think.
Since you’ve known him, he never helped you. He just took from you. He took your money, your time.. and what did he give in return? Nothing.
Now here’s my question: what would you do? Be honest.
Here’s what I’d do: I would stop returning his calls. I mean, each time he calls me it’s for money. Why would I pick up the phone if it’s just for taking my money? I don’t want that in my life.
On the other hand, you have a friend called Jerry. He calls you from time to time, try to catch up and introduce you to some of his girlfriends to help you find love. What would you think of that guy?
I’d love him. He keeps helping me, why would I want to stop seeing him? And more than that, since he’s always GIVING to me.. I’d feel pretty bad if I didn’t return the favor.. won’t you? And that’s how this simple characteristic can drastically change your life.
So, what do you want to be? A taker or a giver? Hope you yelled “A giver!” across your screen. That’s what I strive to be. And that’s what I want you to be. It changes life. It improves your relations with people, the number of opportunities you will get, you will feel great about yourself.. I mean, why wouldn’t you? I see only benefits.
You should always remember that people are attracted to givers. No one wants to be taken advantage of. But everyone wants to receive. Always think about giving first, then you shall receive.