Motivation plays an important role in our lives. It’s this rush of adrenaline that travel through your body that makes you want to take over the world, to the point where you can feel your own blood moving through your veins and your hair rising. I’m sure you all know this feeling, as this driving force never goes unnoticed once it’s there.
Do you want this feeling in order for you to get things done ? I’m sure you do, and I do as well.
No one wants to push themselves when it’s time to work. And you know what ? You’re entirely right. You shouldn’t do that as it will never have any positive effect on you.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that you should always be jumping around, yelling ”I want to work” like an overexcited child, although that’s good for me ! No, what I’m really saying is that it should not happen every single day. If you feel unmotivated every single day, then we’ve got a problem.
Remember this : willpower does not last.
Although willpower is awesome to push yourself when you need a kick in the butt sometimes, it’s horrible to push yourself EVERYTIME. Why ? Because it’s going to make you suffer, and you’ll eventually get bored, or worse, feel pain each time you’ll have to work.
I’ve been through this. Wanting to work, but not feeling like it. So I pushed myself hard every day. Do you want to know the outcome ? Take a guess.
I gave up.
I was sick and tired, I was bored, I wasn’t interested… but more than that, I was suffering. I’m sure I’m not teaching you anything if I say that human beings don’t like to suffer. Well, it works the same way here.
If you consistenly feel pain, then this pain will be associated to the activity you’re doing.
What do you think is going to happen when you reach your limit ? One of those two things : you’ll either give up, or it’ll make you unhappy.
Although I’m not saying that suffering makes you unhappy – history have shown that some people, with the right mindset, even in the worst circumstances still had the power to feel happy, it’s not good for you, and even for your relatives you get to see you everyday.
That’s why we want to be proactive, not reactive. We’re going to solve the problem before it even appears -wait, if the problem is solved before it becomes a problem, is that still called a problem ?
How to make sure you motivate yourself every single day not only to enjoy what you’re doing, but more than that, to make sure that it fullfills you as a human being and doesn’t hinder your happiness ? Let’s see how we could manage to do that !
Have a purpose
These are all important, but this one is the foundation. If you don’t have a ”why”, then you don’t have anything. Humans beings are driven by whys. No matter what we do, there’s always a reason behind our acts.
Whether you like your job or not, there’s a reason why you have one. There’s a reason why some people kill each other. There’s a reason why some people love each other. If there is no reason, then there is no act.
By the way, this is the reason (wink) why I love mystery novels so much. I enjoy finding out who killed the victims. I enjoy finding out how they did it. But even more than that, I enjoy finding out WHY they did it. Why did the culprit killed the victim ? Was it out of love (love this one) ? Was it out of greed ? It makes people so much more interesting and profound, than just ”I killed him for no reason.”
Now, I’ve demonstrated to you that we all act according to certain reasons. If you’re like most people, then chances are that you work not because you want to, but because you need to. I’m going to give you the keys to shift this perception of yours, but let me say this : the best way to enjoy what you do is to actually do what you enjoy. I know, sounds simple, but effective.
Let’s get back on track now, what does it mean to have a purpose ?
It means that you should always back up your actions with reasons ; the more reasons there are the better.
Your reasons need to be compelling. If you say to me that your purpose for going to work is because you want more money, I’m not sure it’s going to motivate you. In fact, money is just a tool. It’s not money in iteself that you desire, it’s what it will buy you.
For instance, if you say to me that you want to work to make more money to make sure your children are taken care of, we’re getting somewhere. Again, it works better and is healthier to do what you like, instead of doing something you don’t like because you need to. However, I understand some people might be in this case.
Your reasons must make you jump out of your bed in the morning, and keep you late at night. An even stronger reason would be :”I want to build my own business to impact and help millions of people achieving their dreams, but because I need money right now, I need to save up some money for now”. That’s a very strong reason, but again, you want to get more reasons than that. Try to aim for at least 10 reasons.
Note that I’d like you to be ambitious. Your purpose must be your dreams. If you tell me that you want to learn Spanish because going to Spain sounds cool, I’m going to stop you right there because this won’t motivate you enough. From the wording, I see right there that Spain isn’t your dream, because it ‘just sounds cool”.
Don’t come up with answers that are just ”cool’ or ”nice if I could achieve it”, but musts. ”I want to, and I’m going to do this no matter what happens because X (it’s my mission, it’s my passion ,etc…”
Having a purpose is a good start, but it’s not enough. You need to remind yourself of it EVERY SINGLE DAY.
What I mean by that is that I want you to make sure that everyday, you get to see/read what your ambitions are. By the way, this is the biggest mistake I see people make when thinking of their new year resolutions. They just do it once, and then forget about it. It doesn’t work that way. You need to remember yourself everytime why you’re doing what you’re doing. You might say ‘I already know the reason in my head’, but that’s precisely the problem.
Don’t use your head, use your heart.
Your head is great for strategizing, learning and remembering. But it’s horrible for one thing, do you know what that is ?
Just repeating everyday ”Learning Spanish is a must because I will live in Spain with my family” won’t work unless you put energy in those words. Try it yourself, you’ll see the difference.
Say ”I am going to easily learn spanish with all I’ve got because I’m going to live with my family that I love in spain” like a robot. Then, repeat the same sentence as you speak with your heart, a big smile on your face and broad gestures. You’re going to see the difference. In the first case, you won’t feel it. In the second, you will feel it, which will motivate you to take action.
Ask Yourself The Right Questions
Let me ask you a question : is there any possible way you can feel empowered when you ask yourself : ”Why am I a failure ?”
If you’re a human being like me, then this type of question will never empower you. I’m exaggeratin g a bit to illustrate my point, but remember this :
The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your questions.
If you ask low-quality questions, guess what is your life going to be like ? Low-quality questions are questions such as :
”Why is nothing working out for me ?” => You’re focusing on the wrong thing. This question presupposes that nothing is working out for you, but is that really true ? I’m sure we all have at least one thing we did well in our lives. Even if you can’t think of anything, that’s not the point : you’re asking yourself the wrong question. Your question should be ”How can I make it work ?”, this way you don’t sound like a victim and instead of beating yourself up, you are actively looking for solutions.
”Why am I a loser ?” => Do I really need to explain why this question is so bad ? Again, it presupposes that you’re a loser. How is that even going to help you in your life ?
”Why does no one like me ?” => Same thing, it presupposes that no one likes you, which is fundamentally wrong.
In all these types of questions, the answer is of no importance. You know what ? Yes, maybe you are a loser. Maybe no one likes you. However, that’s not my point here. I want to emphasize the fact that if you ask a bad question, you’ll find a bad answer.
Let say that you don’t like your life, and that you are unhappy. How is the question ”Why no one likes me ?” going to help you ? It’s not. The only thing it’s going to do is reinforcing that belief you have about you that no one likes you. Instead, here are a few empowering questions that you could ask yourself :
”What can I do to become a better person ?” => You are actively looking for an answer. Plus, you’re presupposing two things : first, that you want to ‘do’ something to change it, which means that you are going to change as change does not happen unless there is some kind of action from you and second that you want to become ”better”, so you don’t presuppose that you’re a loser.
I understand that it’s very hard to change a belief we have about ourselves. In a sense, it’s like trying to change your identity. However, reinforcing that identity will never make you a better person. If not, it’s just going to worsen that problem.
”What can I do to make this work ?” => Again, you’re not blaming yourself or others, but you’re actively looking for a solution. Moreover, you presuppose that you’re actually going to do something to get the results you’re after.
”How can people like me even more ?”=> Same thing here. This question presupposes that people already like you, which means that your brain will look for positive answers. Conversely, asking ‘why does no one like me” will make your brain focus on a reason why you’re a victim.
Asking the right questions is very important, because for whatever questions you have, your brain will find an answer for. If you’re asking yourself a bad question, you’ll get a bad answer, which will not improve your situation. On the contrary, asking yourself a good question will allow your brain to find a good answer, which will empower you and make you grow as a human being.
Be in the right state
It’s monday night, you just worked all day and you’re finally back home. You don’t have any energy left to work on your chinese, so you feel like doing nothing. You decide to turn on the TV, as you lie on the couch.
Is there any way you could suddenly start feeling energy flowing through your body ? In fact, there is… but it needs more ambition than that.
When you’re lazy and feel tired, there is no possible way for you to actually feel motivated. That’s why we must shake you up and change that state. Listen : you will never feel motivated by lying on the couch watching TV. That’s why we must proactively do something that will trigger movation.
I’ve already talked about the ways you can use to change your state on my blog, so I won’t repeat the same things. However, there is a simple thing you can do that will instantely wake you up.
That’s right. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve did this, and how many times it worked. The moment you feel like doing nothing is the moment you need to start dancing. However, you wouldn’t like to dance without music, wouldn’t you ?
Good ! Because you will put on your favorite music and start dancing like crazy.
Remember : you’re only feeling lazy because you’re doing nothing. Shake your body up, and you’ll see the difference, and when I say ”shake your body up”… I mean dancing.:-)
So, why is dancing so powerful ? As talked about in this article, using physiology to your advantage is a powerful way to feel whatever emotion you want to experience more in your life.
Dancing allows you to move your entire body, which will make you feel more alive. I found that dancing really made me happier in a matter of minutes, and made me excited pretty quickly.
Everything that I’m sharing with you I’ve tried, and am still practicing every single day. Remember to always keep an open mind : dancing may seem odd at first, but I guarantuee you that it’s a powerful way to start feeling happy and motivated. If you want to take this even further, you can ask yourself powerful questions as you dance such as : ”Why is doing (X) important to me” ?
Your brain will try to come up with answers as you dance, and these answers will motivate you even further !
Keep practicing these techniques every single day, because I can promise you that it’s going to change your lives..