It’s one of those times again. You meet an interesting guy and instantly hit it off, but you just know what is going to happen next. And sure enough, it happens. The man you thought were into you suddenly tells you he’s not ready.And just like countless times before, you still don’t understand why that happens.
Is it because of your looks? Your personality? Or simply men’s fault? You’re left asking yourself why that didn’t work out. But it’s not as uncommon as you might think. Men pulling away and making the same lame, old excuses happens more than you think.
In this article, we’ll go over 5 things you can do to get a man to commit to you. Keep in mind that there is no magic pill, or ‘’super-advanced-secret psychological trick’’. Still, they will enable you to stack the odds in your favour.
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1 – Find Out His Values And Overall Vision
Why is it important? Well, before you do anything and try to make him yours, it might be a good idea to make sure that he’s the right fit for you in the first place. There’s no point trying to go in a relationship with a man who plans to shape his life in a way that doesn’t suit you.
Knowing all of this will also enable you to score points and motivate him that you are ‘the one’ if he seems like the right man for you.
In order to find out what his values/vision for life are, ask him questions – but just try to be a little bit subtle so that he doesn’t see you coming.. Another great way to achieve this would be to look back on choices he made. Values dictate the decisions we make.
Here is a list of common values:
There are many many others, but these are the primary ones.
2 – Align Yourself With His Values
Obviously, you should only do this if you genuinely share his values or vision. Men wants to feel supported by their woman – this means going in the same direction and feel like leaders.
Never lie to him saying that you’re not interested in having kids, only to admit later that you’re obsessed with this idea. It will undoubtedly be a deal-breaker for most men.
3 – Don’t Pressure Him
No one likes pressure – it makes us stressed and uncomfortable. The one you love isn’t any different, and so are you.
Don’t go overboard and bring up any subject that may sound like a commitment. Especially if he lives a busy life, he won’t appreciate anyone putting extra weight on his shoulders.
Obviously, if you’ve been together for a long time and he still hasn’t committed – it might be time to let him go as he may not have any intention to commit to you in the first place.
4 – Make Him Earn You
Winning a prize without effort isn’t fun – it’s the process and the growth that it entails that makes all the fun.
In the same way, he won’t feel compelled to commit to you if he thinks it’s been too easy and he doesn’t have to put in any effort to win you over.
It doesn’t mean playing hard to get, because this can backfire by discouraging some men. There is a fine balance between being too easy and too hard to get. Let him some space to daydream about you, instead of suffocating him.
5 – Don’t Make It Sound Like A Big Thing
You may have planned all these things you want to do with him in the future in your head, but don’t lay it all out on him. All it’s going to do is overwhelm him and make him pull away. This is what happens when he makes up excuses: not enough time, money, energy, etc.
If he has the slightest doubt that you expect a big commitment from him, he’ll start being defensive with you.
This is even more true for men with a busy schedule: if he has a lot to do, he won’t logically have time to spend with you. ‘’Logically’’ is the keyword here, because it all changes when you make him emotional – and madly in love. Suddenly, he’ll find himself throwing logic out the window. And this works for every one of us.