Human beings, no matter how different from each other they may be, have tons of things that they have in common. One particular characteristic of us, that I would like to discuss about today, is that we all have fears.
Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of death… No matter what your fears are, I can guarantee you that other people on this planet share the same fears as you. This is a common feature of all beings on this earth. For instance, I can probably safely assert that most people on this planet dread death. After all, it is well-known that our brain was designed to keep us safe, that’s why fears come up.
However, are all the fears really justified ? Probably not. As I said, your brain is designed to keep you safe.. so it will always be looking for the easiest, surest and most comfortable path for you.
For instance, what about fear of public speaking ? It’s logically nothing to be afraid of. Yet, your brain may react to it in a very negative way, making it look like it’s going to kill you -which is totally fiction, as public speaking never killed anyone.
Unfortunately, this is where most people stop.
Most people decided it was safer to trust their brain dictates how they should act. It is, of course, the right thing to do when you’re in real danger – that’s the whole purpose of the fight or flee mechanism – but it can’t stop you from achieving your goals.
You see, you brain dreads what’s uncomfortable. Instead, it wants you to be comfortable and cozy, under your sheets in your warm cabin. However, is that how you are supposed to achieve your goals ? Let me tell you honestly :
You can’t trust your brain, and achieve your goals at the same time. After all, your goals are what you desire, which are the things you don’t have right now in your life. If you think about it, the whole concept of ‘comfort zone’, which is the zone where you’re comfortable, everything outside of that zone is what you don’t have. In short, you must get out of your comfort zone (and hence be uncomfortable) in order to get what you want.
However, if your brain won’t allow you to step out of that comfort zone, how are you going to achieve your goals ? You can’t. That’s why you must make a choice : you either decide to trust your brain, at the cost of your goals, or you decide the other way around.
I chose the latter, and let me tell you : it feels uncomfortable. More than that, it’s frightening. I’ve done things that I didn’t think I was even capable of doing, and let me tell you : I regretted it at the time. I was asking myself : ”Why did I even do that ?”. It was scary as hell.
Nevertheless, I felt great afterwards. I felt great for doing it. I felt great as I acknowledged myself for doing it.
And today I want you to do the same in your life.
I know that overcoming a fear is particularly hard to achieve, proof is that most people let fear get in their way. However, it was the case for me too, and it still is to this day : no matter what you do, no matter how much you grow, you’ll always experience fear. Fears will constantly be showing up, that’s why we must learn to tame them before they consume us.
Let’s dive right into it : how to actually feel pleasure when you’re in fear ?
I know that you’re probably frowning right now. How would that even be possible to feel happy and excited when you feel like your tummy is going to explode ? Well, that was me at first.
I actually clicked as I was watching a video of one of my mentor Stefan James from ProjectLifeMastery.com. He was actually talking about success in general, and got to a part where he was talking about the comfort zone. This simple sentence made me clicked :
”If you don’t feel the fear, then you’re not growing.”
It came to me like a revelation.
I already knew that in order to get what we want, we needed to step out of our comfort zone, because what we want is outside of it, otherwise we would already have it. I also knew that the best way to face your fears was to act, and not to passively hope your fear will go away.
However, I realized one simple, yet life-changing thing : if you want to grow, then you need to feel scared.
Let me phrase it the other way around to make it easier : if you don’t feel the fear, then you’re not growing. If you’re not growing, that means that you will never have what you want.
In short, feeling the fear is a good thing ! If we think about it, if we didn’t have this fear, and didn’t have what we want, then there would be no way to obtain what we want.
The fear is in fact the vehicule that will lead you to your goal.
When I realized this, everything changed for me. I didn’t view fear as something that was holding me back, but I was starting to view fear as an opportunity to grow, and to get closer to my goal.
This is what I learned : unless you let fear consume you, fear is a good thing. In fact, here’s what I found : fear is like a knife. Just like you can use a knife both to cook and to kill, you can use fear either to destroy you, or to help you. Fear is just influence, and you get to decide how it influences your life.
Don’t get me wrong : it’s not about suppressing fear by having special thoughts or behaviors, because the only real solution that I found to beat fear to this day, is to face it enough time to make it become a friend of yours.
It’s about controlling it and using it as a way to empower yourself.
Instead of dreading fear, I actually now enjoy it. I’m excited about it.
Of course, I don’t enjoy the feeling of fear itself, this is precisely why it’s supposed to keep us safe. However, I do enjoy -or should I say love- the feeling of excitation of growth, because each time I face my fears, I know I’m getting closer to my goals.
Don’t let your fears consume you, but use it to your advantage.
Fear shouldn’t prevent you from achieving, but it should drive you to achieve. Once you start viewing fear as a good thing, I can guarantee you that everything will change for you. Fear is a weapon which you get to decide the usage of. Whether it kills you or makes you stronger is up to you.