Negativity. Criticism. Hate. Frustration. All of this are NEGATIVE EMOTIONS. And what’s really dangerous about that, is that it is INFECTIOUS.
If you’ve been on the internet for a certain amount of time, then chances are you already know what I’m talking about. Even if there are a lot of people that are negative out there in the real world, the web is “infected” by these people. The reason? Anonymity. It’s a lot easier to criticize someone when you don’t have to face the consequences of what you’re saying. Unfortunately, that’s the way it is and we can’t do anything about that.
However, we do have control over our own reactions and reponses. Which means that even if the world decides to be negative, as long as you stand straight, chin up with unwavering determination.. no one can do anything about that either. It’s all about you. Not others.
In order for us to understand how to deal with negativity and criticism, we must beforehand comprehend the reason behind negativity.
Actually, there are I think TONS of potential reasons which makes some people want to act this way. I cannot describe them all in this article, not only because it’ll be too long but also because I do not claim to have understood everything. I’m just trying to teach you what other people have taught me.
I’ll begin by saying that answering to negativity by negativity is NOT the healthy way.
I see so many people getting trapped into that idea.
It may make you feel better for a short time, but it’s not how you should handle things if you want to experience happiness. I understand that reacting to negativity by positivity is very hard and we could call that unfair in a certain way, but there are no other way.
However, even if I told you that much.. you’ll keep doing the same things, right?
That’s why, in my opinion, human beings are driven by WHYs, and not HOWs. I told you the surest way to handle things, but not until I actually explain you WHY you should act this way that you will see no issues to do that.
In short, this is the how: don’t get caught up in negativity and answer in a POSITIVE WAY.
Easier said than done, right?
Well, I believe it’ll be easier for you when you’ll understand the motives behind negativity.
In my opinion, there are two state of mind: you’re either positive, or you’re calling for help.
Think about that: if you were HAPPY. If you had ANYTHING you’d wanted. Say, if you had a loyal partner, nice kids, that you were rich, handsome and in harmony with yourself.. could you be negative? Just try imagining it. If you can, that is. I CANNOT find a way to be negative when you achieve that state of mind.
I’ll even say that when you’re HAPPY.. you only want others to be happy. Nothing else.
That’s why people who are negative aren’t happy. They’re crying deep inside.
You cannot be happy AND negative. It’s incompatible.
Negativity is just a way to express themselves.
There’s a metaphor I heard from one of my mentor Stefan James (www.projectlifemastery.com) that I love, which states that: “If you want to be the tallest building in the city.. you can either build slowly your own piece by piece.. or you can tear down other people’s buildings.” Obviously, negative people use the latter.
Crushing other people is just a way for them to feel better about themselves. Nothing else.
This is why I can’t get angry at someone like that. They’re just craving for someone to help them. From this point of view, in an instant.. negative people seem way more fragile, don’t they?
Deep down, they just want to be happy. But they didn’t find a way to make everyone happy. So they decided that for them to be happy, they needed to make other people unhappy.
For this reason, you need to understand that THEY DON’T HATE YOU PERSONALLY.
In fact, I believe they hate themselves even more than they seem to hate you. When a person criticize you, deep down, they criticize themselves much harder. Like I said, if you want to be the tallest building in the city.. you can either build your own piece by piece.. or you can demolish other people’s.
Of course, on top of that.. there are bad days. We all have those.
When you feel like everything you do doesn’t work, a lot of people react badly to that. In the end, it’s not that they have something against you.. but it’s just that they’re having a bad day and they need to release that stress. Obviously, I don’t recommend to do that. You could just exercise, accepting that today’s not your day.. there are a lot of healthy way to deal with that.
I won’t get into all the reasons on why someone can be negative. But generally, it all comes back to themselves: they’re suffering so they need to put that anger against someone else.
My question to you is this: why would you be angry at someone who’s already angry at themselves?
For instance, you have jealousy. Poor people criticize rich people for X reasons, but deep inside they CRAVE for more money. But they need to express themselves. I think we’d all agree on the fact that someone like this is very unfortunate. So why would you get angry at them? I assure you, they’re already angry at themselves.
Let’s adjust my words a little bit: I’m not saying you should let others abuse you. That’s absolutely not the message I’m trying to convey. If you need to take mesures, then take them. What I’m saying is that you should understand that negative people are not “evil”. They’re just not happy. Don’t waste your energy talking back to them.
The best you can do is hope they’ll realize one day. Until that day, all you can do is act the way you are. Stay positive, as there’s no reason not to be. People are just trying to pass their frustration onto you, so you help them carry the burden. In the end, nothing to be angry about, right? Compassion and positivity are the best weapons you can use to preserve your state of mind and help them realize their problem.