We all live in different circumstances at different stages of our lives, however what if I tell you that we can all equally be positive without regard to money or fame? Being rich doesn’t necessarily mean that you are going to be positive. In fact, I’ve already seen rich people being negative. If money or fame isn’t the decisive factor, what is then? It all goes back to your mindset in general, the way you perceive the world and the informations you consume.
Focus on the right things
Let me illustrate this idea with an example. Two different people, two different personnalities. Both run a (not-doing-so-well) business, and they eventually go bankrupt. They had this great partner they thought would bring this fresh air to the business. He was supposed to do very well. Actually, the person himself was bragging about how he already managed successful transactions and helped people getting out of bankruptcy. But he ruined everything. In fact, he is the very man that put the business into bankruptcy – far from helping them getting out of it!
This is the crucial moment where you can distinguish someone’s mindset right away. Person A could say “Jeez, this guy is a jerk! He probably lied to me! I hate this guy!”. It would be understandable, after all this guy was the very reason the business went bankrupt. However, what about Person B? They would simply let out a sigh, saying: “I’m stupid. I should have checked his background before doing anything else. Well, I guess it will serve me as a lesson.” As person A will do nothing but blame the other, person B will first acknowledge his mistake – crucial step – before he focuses on the point : he made a mistake, so he learned.
In the end, they both failed. They had built this business with all they had, and they failed. However, it does not dictate the way they will perceive this failure. Person B instantly distinguishes himself from person A by focusing on the good -namely, the fact that he LEARNED something. Person B does not care about that, he wants his money back! But guess what? Person B has now become a better person and will start over a new business using everything he learned in the previous one. Person B thinks the world hasn’t stop revolving, person A thinks it has.
Develop the right mindset
Being aware of this method is not enough. You must develop the right mindset. After all, you can know what to do but don’t do what you know. Knowing all the theories is good, but putting it into practice is better. The world won’t change with theories, but it will change with actions.
Whatever challenge, or situation you face, you must always ask yourself one question: what is a good thing about that? No matter what that is, you COULD find something positive. The real question is if you’re ready to. You could be in the worst possible situation that you could still find something good. Actually, there are a few stories like this that happened during wars. People being imprisoned, tortured and all but still finding something good about it. Insane, right? How could someone being treated like that find the good? Well, I don’t even know it myself but I do know that it is possible!
What could be positive about being tortured you say? Well, according to some prisonners you learn a lot of things, you get in great physical shape, you get closer to your creator.. there are a lot of things. As I previously said, it is ultimately a matter of perception. You could just see the destructive side of being held captive, or you could see it as a learning experience.
Train your mindset
I think developing the right mindset needs training. After all, have you ever heard of something that can be mastered without putting a consequent amount of efforts? It does’t change. I’m constantly trying to improve myself, to improve my mindset. I sometimes face some situations I’m not sure how to handle, but I handle them anyway and learn on the way -that’s the way it works.
How could you train it? Well, first you must let the universe put you in an incomfortable situation as you won’t grow otherwise. This part is the only one you can’t do anything about. What you can do about it, however, is handling it in the best way possible. Once you find yourself in a situation where you want.. no, you crave to say something bad about something/someone.. stop there! Take a deep breath and think carefully. Remember this article you just read? Yes, it’s now time to apply it!
Say that your sneaky cat spilled your coffee on your $3000 computer. Oh my god, what should you do? Should you sell that cat? Hit him? Or.. should you blame yourself? After all, you’re the one that put the coffee next to your computer, not the cat. You made a mistake. Making a mistake is not enough, you must learn from it. Now, what is the good thing about that? You learned from this experience. You won’t make that mistake again. In the end, you should be thankful towards your cat. He learned you how careless you were.
Even if circumstances seems deplorable, there is always room for good. This part is closely related to one of my previous article called “Why you need to learn how to learn“, but not only do you need to learn from your mistake, you need understand that it is a good thing as it will make you a better person.
Avoid negative people
I often encounter negative people. These people, no matter what their situation is, always find a way to complain. In short, they find the bad in everything. This is the exact opposite of what I’m trying to teach you, and the exact type of person you do not want to be around with. I’ve already made an article about the environment, so I suggest you read it but as I said, even if you can surround yourself with good people in any circumstances, you can’t prevent negative people to influence you. You can do your best but ultimately their bad habits could reach you to a certain level. You must try to avoid these people at all cost. Habits are just habits. Whether they are good or bad, they are made by repetition. If you hang out too much with negative people, you will most likely become like them.
Hang out with positive people
Obviously, it works both ways. If negative people can influence you, so can positive people. Now, what is great about doing that? Well, as I previously said, habits are made by repetition. When hanging out with positive people, you will absorb their good habit. Actually, you may even help each other. You may be at different stages of your lives, but you could still see sometimes some bad reactions on the other part, so you could tell them and they could tell you about yours. Don’t have positive friends? Well, -find ones!- you can still surround yourself with people on the internet! I already talked about it in my previous article, but watch and read tons of content of people like you! The main idea is, “absorb positive people’s habits”.
Do NOT watch the news
This is a big one. It astonishes me that so many people watch the news, as if it was vital. Yes, it is vital. If you desire to put garbage into your mind, that is. I don’t see any other reason one would watch the news. Fine, let’s be fair. I’ve once been told “to stay informed”. My answer to that is: do you prefer to “stay informed” in exchange for your hapiness? Because it is exactly how I see this: a trade against misfortune. Do you want to stop being happy? Watch the news!
I don’t understand why one would even want to know that X has been murdered, raped or tortured and that this politician stole money. Does it help you in your life? No? Then, why are you watching this in the first place? It really is mind blowing. Watching news is the art of voluntarily putting negative informations in your head. Why wouldn’t you read books and cultivate yourself instead of watching news? Instead of becoming a better person, some people want to stay where they’re at. If you want to be postitive, do not watch news. Am I the only one that get sad and depressed after hearing that a “tragedy” happened? I know that it happens, I’m not fooling myself. However, I don’t need to know the details. Do you want to sell your positivity to the detriment of (bad) informations? It’s up to you. I don’t.
Be grateful for what you have
It is so easy to complain, honestly. You don’t have this, you don’t have that.. but have you realized you had a ton of other things? If you’re not satisfied with something, you can use the old trick “there are people in the world who don’t have that”. I never liked this saying, but there is some truth in it (if used correctly). For instance, you complain about earning $2000 a month for your hard work? There are people that work harder for less. I know that this fact doesn’t change your life, but it can help you shift your mentality -so it can change your life in a certain way. If you earn $2000 a month when other earn crumbs, shouldn’t you be grateful? Being grateful is key to becoming positive all the time. If you can’t be grateful for what you have, you never will be and always find room for complaining.
Gratefulness is not about how much you have, it is about what you have. You have a roof, food and an internet connection? No, you even have a healthy body that works without you worrying? How can you even think about complaining? It is astounding that some people can complain for less than that. Your neccessities are fulfilled as a humain being, this is where you should be grateful. We all want more than what we have, but this is no excuse to start complaining.
Reaching positivity is not an easy task, but it is certainly doable. Aside from being essential to your own happiness, it will also illuminate people around you. Being positive is life-changing, and I believe that everyone deserve to attain that state of mind. Some people are not willing to let themselves reach happiness, but that doesn’t mean you have to hold back. Being positive is a choice.