I have always wondered why so many people living in abundance are unhappy with their lives while a small percentage of other people seemingly deprived of everything that matters enjoy life.

Why is it that some people experience happiness on a regular basis even though life seems for whatever reason to hold a grudge against them? Let’s take the example of Sergeant Johnny Joey Jones. Despite having lost his legs on the battlefield, it didn’t prevent him from being happy.

One of his popular quote is, ’’People ask how I stay so positive after losing my legs… I simply ask how they stay so negative with theirs.’’ How is it possible? I have pondered many times over this preoccupation of mine, and finally came up with an answer. Simply said, I found that unhappy people make certain mistakes that happy people do not make. It’s as simple as that.

Making these mistakes can turn the most beautiful and caring soul into the most miserable being. It can literally destroy your life if you don’t pay enough attention. I know that was true for myself until I discovered the very same mistakes I’m about to share with you. Once I got aware of them, it was very easy for me to get rid of them and change my life.

Let’s talk about the 6 mistakes you must NEVER make in order to be happy.

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1 – Having Too Many Rules

Parents should know this best. There is nothing more difficult than to make a child comply when there are too many rules. Far from being exclusive to children, this applies to everybody. If you expect people to behave in specific ways in order for you to be happy, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Oftentimes, we don’t even realize we have rules because they are deeply ingrained in our subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind made up these rules based on your experiences and the meanings you have given them.

Here is a quick and efficient way to find out your rules about anything in life. Ask yourself the question, ‘’What has to happen in order for me to be happy?’’ Any answer that you will come up with will be your rule about happiness (and there may be more than one.)

I found that a lot of people unnecessarily delay happiness because they have too many rules. If you need to be fit, make a million dollars, have 3000 friends on facebook and master 12 languages to be happy, you may want to reconsider your rules.

Make your rules fewer in number and more easily attainable. How would it change your life if you replaced the current rule that you have by a rule that says that you are happy each day that you are alive?

2 – Being Self-Centered

Life is about contribution – it’s what makes us feel alive. And everyone should know this at some level – think of a time in your life where you made someone an amazing – and sometimes unexpected – gift. How did it feel to see their faces light up as they felt a deep sense of gratitude towards you?

Happy people know this – and this is why they are the best givers. Ironically, being a giver is usually more rewarding because it builds relationships with people on the long-term. Nobody wants to deal with a taker, but everybody loves givers!

True happiness is knowing that you are making an impact on people at some level.

3 – Being Too Future, Present or Past-Oriented

Needless to say, there is tremendous value in thinking about the future. This is what enables you to come up with new, exciting goals. But too much thinking on the future can actually backfire and create anxiety. Definitely not a good recipe towards happiness!

Another possibility would be to focus on the past. Once again, this has great value because you can learn from your mistakes. Just like the future, though, it has some drawbacks. First of all, it’s easy to get caught up in negative emotions such as guilt or regrets. Second, too much focus on the past is a waste of time because it’s over and done with.

What about the present? Well, as great as it is, your life won’t move forward unless you have compelling goals and keep learning from your mistakes, so living only in the present moment is a mistake as well.

The bottom line is this: there must be a balance between all of these. Each one of them has pros and cons.

4 – Lacking Appreciation

It amazes me that so many people overlook the most simple yet powerful force of life: gratefulness. I know it sounds cheesy but it’s true – in fact, you can trigger happiness and feelings of appreciation just by being grateful right now.

In this regard, our biggest enemy is the law of familiarity. It states that we will take for granted anything that we spend too much time with – your spouse, your pet, your house, your financial situation.. even your health!

Most of the time, people are chasing an illusion. They’re always trying to achieve the next goal without appreciating and savouring the progress that they’ve already made. In fact, along with having too many rules, this mistake can destroy your life.

How are you supposed to be happy when you’re just chasing after the next goal, expecting that it will make you happy?

5 – Holding On To Control

The desire for control stems from our need for certainty, which we need to feel good and comfortable. It’s a way for the brain to relax and know that you’re going to survive. But what most people overlooks is that you can’t control everything. In fact, there is only a handful of things you can control in life. Yet, so many people persist in trying to control.

If you were to just let go of control, your life would be much more enjoyable. Easier said than done, right? Fortunately, there is one thing you have full control over at all times: your inner world. Regardless of what happens in the external world, you always have a choice on the way you respond. But you don’t have any power when it comes to how things unfold. That’s why it’s critical to master your inner world. 

This is the key to happiness – let go of control. You can’t control your spouse leaving you, the economy going down or your children dying. All you can do is manage your emotions and get the best out of those events.

6 – Relying On Instant Gratification

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s extremely difficult to be patient. I know because I’ve been there. After all, anything you can possibly want you can have in a few clicks. But this influences our brains in a negative way.

More often than not, instant gratification turns out to be the wrong approach – it’s always the shortcut or the trick. It doesn’t mean that every short cut are bad, some of them might actually benefit your life and save you a tremendous amount of time.

If you rely on instant gratification to be happy, then your happiness is based on this and you won’t be able to function without it. This circles back to a point I made earlier: happiness should come from within you – not from external sources which you have absolutely no control over.

Of course, everyone is happy to hear good news. I’m not making that wrong. But you need to manage your state and bring out that very same state of happiness when you really need it. Not when it’s convenient.

7 – Rushing All The Time

Most of us are always rushing around in order to make the most of our 24 hours a day trying to achieve. But it doesn’t come without caveat. In our attempt to achieve, we most often forget to slow down and appreciate what we already have.

In fact, it’s not even about having anything to be grateful for. It’s about being present in the moment and being aware of everything that happens to you and surrounds you. Taking deep breaths. Being a witness of nature. Feeling the wind touching your face. 

These are things that we don’t even realise are there – and yet there are one of the most powerful ways to be happy. Awareness truly does wonders.

CONCLUSION

Which of these mistakes are you making? Tell me in the comments below! Awareness is the first step towards change. Now that you are aware of these costly mistakes, you can deal with it more effectively.

My biggest mistake used to be having too many rules. I thought that I needed external things to be happy. Sure enough, when I achieved my goals I was left wondering why I still wasn’t happy. As soon as I changed that part of my life, everything changed for me.

Do you want to discover my 3-Step Process to getting rid of pain and negative emotions instantly?  CLICK HERE to get access to my guides for FREE.